Date night questions

Most date night lists are nostalgia — how did we meet, what was our first film. Pleasant, and they point backwards. These mostly point forwards, because the useful thing on a date night is deciding what to do next.

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At home or out

None of these need a restaurant. Several are better on a sofa, and a few are specifically about making an ordinary evening at home feel deliberate, which is the harder problem for most couples.

If you are out, the game survives a noisy table: the cards are short and one phone between you is enough. If you are at home, it fills the part of the evening where the plan has run out and neither of you wants to suggest television.

Planning as a game

Some of the cards ask you to actually decide something — pick the next date and describe it in three sentences, set a reminder for something you will do together this month, name a date on the calendar you are both free.

This sounds like admin and is not. The reason couples stop doing things together is rarely lack of interest; it is that nobody makes the specific suggestion. A card that forces a specific suggestion does more than an hour of agreeing that you should go out more.

Keeping it light

Not every card is a plan. Plenty are just enjoyable — what you have cooked that could be eaten weekly, the most fun you have had somewhere that looked boring on paper, the worst date idea either of you can invent.

Mix the categories if you want the evening to move. Date night plus funny keeps the pace up; date night plus deep slows it down considerably, which is fine if that was the intention.

15 truth questions

1.What's a date we've already had that you'd repeat every year?
2.Plan us a perfect evening using only what's within walking distance.
3.What's something you've wanted us to try but never actually suggested?
4.Which of our nights in beats most nights out, and what makes it work?
5.If we had one standing ritual every week, what would you want it to be?
6.We have a free Tuesday and no phones. How are we spending it?
7.What's a place close to us you've never been and keep meaning to go?
8.Describe our ideal day out where absolutely nothing is planned in advance.
9.What small thing turns an ordinary evening at home into a proper date?
10.Which season do you most want to travel in together, and where to?
11.What have I cooked or ordered that you'd happily eat every single week?
12.What do you want us to be genuinely good at together a year from now?
13.What's the most fun we've had somewhere that looked boring on paper?
14.What does a genuinely good weekend look like, hour by hour?
15.Which everyday thing would you most want to do together, not a holiday?

13 dares

16.Pick our next date and describe it in three sentences. Go.
17.Open your camera roll, find a photo from a night you loved, and explain it.
18.Choose the song for our next drive and play the first ten seconds.
19.Write the two-line invitation you'd use to ask me out for the first time.
20.Set a reminder right now for something we'll actually do together this month.
21.Give a thirty-second pitch for the worst date idea you can invent.
22.Find somewhere neither of us has eaten and read one dish out loud.
23.Act out my exact reaction to the best date we've ever had.
24.Pick any city on a map and name the first three things we'd do there.
25.Describe your ideal Sunday in ten words or fewer, no hedging.
26.Name a date on the calendar we're both free and say it out loud.
27.Describe what you'd cook me if I turned up at your door unannounced.
28.Pick a song that describes this year for us and play thirty seconds of it.

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Common questions

Is this better at home or in a restaurant?

Both work, and the set is written for either. At home it fills the gap when the plan has run out; out, it survives a loud table because the cards are short and you only need one phone.

How is this different from ordinary couples questions?

It leans towards doing rather than remembering. Several cards end with an actual decision — a date picked, a reminder set — because the thing that stops couples doing more together is usually that nobody makes a specific suggestion.

Can we play if we have been together a long time?

That is largely who it is for. Early on there is no shortage of things to plan; ten years in, the planning is what quietly stops, and a card that asks for a specific proposal is more useful than it sounds.